The Kolariks: December 2014

This month I want to celebrate The Season.

This was the first year I thought Bruce could begin to understand more of what we believe to be the meaning of Christmas, aside from just fun traditions and new toys. (Not that those things aren’t amazingly fun though!)

decorating the Christmas tree... and maybe trying to eat an ornament...

Charlie and I went back and forth a little, but finally decided to be up front with our Little Guy concerning the Big Guy in Red. We didn’t sit him down for a “talk” and rant about how it’s “all a lie” – but rather whenever we talked about Santa, we would sometimes mention that he was a fun character in stories and movies, and people like to dress up like him at Christmastime to help celebrate, etc. I’m sure we’ll elaborate more on the history of St. Nicholas when he’s a little older, but for now, he was satisfied with that explanation. And we didn’t bother trying to convince him that he’s real and really comes to our house to bring him presents if he’s been good. Don’t worry, Santa-lovers – we love Santa too, and I doubt Bruce will go around crushing Christmas spirit for “believers” – we just emphasized different aspects of his story.

As we counted down the days until Christmas, I was looking for opportunities to introduce the Christmas Story to Bruce in ways that seemed natural, and meaningful, and understandable – which can be complicated! So as I often find myself doing, I just followed his lead. Earlier in the month when we were setting out some decorations, Bruce was playing with the Jesus-in-a-manger piece to one of the nativity scenes we have and asked me, “Why did baby God have to come to earth?” And there it was - the opportunity. I knew that for this advent season, that was the question I was going to help answer for Bruce.

The idea of dying on a cross in our place to remove sin is kind of heavy for a three year old, so I decided to go more of a “big picture” route. Looking at what the Bible says, some of the reasons why Jesus came to earth were to teach us to love well through serving others, to give us abundant life, to destroy the power of darkness, and to tell people about the Good News. So I tried to incorporate activities throughout the month that hit on those concepts.

As a way to love others through a service project, Bruce and I picked out and bought hats, gloves, trail mix, and candy canes for Norman’s Food & Shelter for Friends facility. One of his little friends came over and helped him stuff all the hats with the goodies, and then we delivered them later to the office. It was fun to hear Bruce’s interpretation of what we were doing and why - not exactly spot on, but good enough!

To help “destroy the power of darkness” in our lives, we started the Christmas tradition of the Good Deeds Manger. Yes, the name is incredibly cheesy, but the concept is fun. We had some friends introduce us to this activity several years ago, but I had forgotten about it until recently. Different families do it differently, but the idea is that you set up an empty manger at the beginning of the advent season, and family members receive pieces of hay for various reasons throughout the month to lay in the manger, preparing the way for Jesus. Bruce was given hay when he made strides to rise above some of his most challenging and negative behaviors – mainly impatience, lack of self-control, and being rude to Abby. We got a late start on ours this year, so Bruce didn’t accumulate too much hay, but I’m excited for this to be a regular part of how our family celebrates Christmas. It was encouraging to be purposeful in catching him making good choices, and celebrating that. Although the broader concept probably went over his head, I liked the idea that our message to him is that “being good” doesn’t mean you’re on the “nice list” and will get lots of presents, but that efforts to love others well through patience or kindness or you-name-it, can usher in the presence of God.

no room for darkness here!

As far as “abundant life” goes, we planned a Saturday excursion that would bring on all the love, joy, peace, and goodness our Littles (and pocketbook) could handle! We went to OKC and spent the morning in the Myriad Gardens, and then visited Santa’s workshop at the Devon Center next door. We had great BBQ for lunch at a little local dive, and then headed back home for naps followed by opening Christmas presents early! It was a great day.

real reindeers!

Bruce and Abby got a play kitchen!

Our house church had an event planned that would have been our activity for “sharing the Good News” - but it fell through at the last minute unfortunately. So, for this year, I just counted our daily advent calendar readings as sharing the Good News with Bruce and Abby.

When all was said and done, I don’t know what Bruce actually walked away with, but we’re laying a foundation I think. When you ask Bruce why we celebrate Christmas, sometimes he’ll say because it’s when Baby God was born and had to sleep in a cow’s food bowl. And if you ask him why Jesus came to earth, most of the time he'll say, "to teach us about Christmas Eve." But sometimes he’ll say to love us. What more could you ask for?

Other highlights from the month:

We really got into making gingerbread houses! I think it was because it involved so much candy, but Bruce thoroughly enjoyed this aspect of Christmas!

we made a 2D chocolate house

and a cardboard box house

and then a traditional gingerbread house, too!

We had so many fun family gatherings! We spent a few days in Perkins with Charlie’s parents, and then drove down to Louisiana to spend a few days with Charlie’s extended family.